Hard Lessons

Last night I had a few people come by in order to paint their 'recovery panes'.  It was the first time anyone has come to the studio intently for this purpose.  I have envisioned it a thousand times in my head, but knew that certain aspects would only reveal themselves during the actual process.

I knew all three people, they did not know each other.  I thought I had been clear with all of them about what the project entailed and what the expectations were.  I began by doing a short exercise where I passed around a painting and asked them if they could tell their story with the imagery used. 

They have all painted in my studio before at least once, so I kept the focus on content over technique, but helped where I was needed if someone got stuck struggling with the tools.  One person knew immediately what she was painting and needed no direction.  Another was a bit more unsure, but considered many ideas and landed on some symbolic imagery that worked for her experience. 

The surprise came with the last participant.  She had been working on her painting for sometime and wanted it to come together, but it wasn't.  I asked her some questions.  Things like, 'What emotions are attached to your experiences?" " What colors or textures are those emotions?"  Things along this line.  It became clear that she was uncomfortable.  She asked to leave.  Which was totally cool to do. 

I wanted her to know that she could either not do the painting, finish it some other time, or whatever.  Apparently, she hadn't eaten dinner, she was tired, and she was not completely clear on the depth of what we were trying to do and had become overwhelmed.  This experience is invaluable to me as the person leading this workshop. 

I will need to make sure that people know that the depth of what they share is completely in their control.  That what they share does not have to be the darkest experience, but can be about hope and strength, about redemtion and recovery.  They can stop at any time, they need to listen to themselves and stay safe.  I need to make sure people know to eat first and come prepared emotionally.  This is hard and important.  What they will be doing is a gift.  A gift to themselves, to others who have yet to open up, and to the community as a whole.